All Cried OUt
I haven’t slept much since last night, I hate hangovers, I could feel my entire body quivering, water, water, I need fuel.
I am so happy that finally I have floors to walk on already, my place has been a mess cuz I’m so busy… order, finally, some things were put back in the right place. But me, I really hope I can put my self in the right place, the right order of things… I hugged my pillow tighter under the dark, yes for now this is my right place, I feel safer closeted inside the walls of my small room… ‘don’t let me go…’
I feel so scared tonight for some reason… I shut the fans and turned off everything in my apartment. I don’t want to hear noise… I rang my friend, ‘I don’t want to go tonight, and I don’t think I want that jungle anymore, I don’t feel safe.’ She shrieked at me, ‘ hello, just think it’s your CSR, corporate social responsibility.’ We were laughing. I told her I couldn’t believe I put myself in that situation, to be bid on and bought. What if no one wants to buy, I don’t want to be bought anyway. I want to buy myself out of it.
I played Fink on my ipod, ‘I left myself, I left myself behind, on the heath, in the grass, in the sunshine, and I watch myself as I stab myself in the back with the question mark…’