Words from my mouth to yours

The diwata asked me to shower her with words…for some reason I think I ran out of them, I know now my role in life and it feels good, but sad as well…I am not a character made for just one, I am for the world, and my heart, my heart is mine, whole…it feels so damn good that I know where it rests…inside of me and lent pieces with the people that surrounds me…

I told the diwata, before you ask someone to hold your heart for you, make sure its whole, and yours to give, do not let anybody hold it for you when someone else is beating its name, you will just hurt the one you lend it to…and guilt has a way of turning its way around, it breaks us into pieces…

I am young but I am so grown up inside, my sadness is mine and no one else understands the depth of it…it resides in me…

I told myself repeatedly that I do not want to be like the people who inspires me, cuz they nudged their hearts aside so that they can be married in what they love to do…thus they are successful in life but love is a last priority…its saddened me last year when I realized this so I went scavenging for love in the most unruly places, but it broke me in more ways than one…then I went back reborn…whole again…not cold, just whole and grown up with head as clear as the water I drink…in life, when you choose your heart first it will catch up on you before you can even get yourself out of the ravine you dug yourself in…I was watching a showbiz talk show earlier and there it is again, annulled marriages and separated hearts…it is sad…I do not want to be one…I hear myself whispering, ‘heart can wait, let the world hold it for you first…’ when you leave your happiness for someone else and not your own it will make you sad…

I asked my photographer friend to take a photo of me yesterday cuz I wanted to see how I looked now, he said, ‘I want you not to smile for the camera, and your eyes to look straight up at the lens and show me the person that you are now…the person matured and in control of her life’…I asked myself, is that me? But I have so much to learn, the problem is I am 50 years ahead in thinking...but its just thinking…a person will not understand until they were in the situation…situations, more will come…it will weaken me but I know I will always stand tall…

Bathe in me, I am rain falling from the sky, but water, it dries before you can hold it…breathe me I am air, it will brush against your skin, but you cannot own it…