So much Lust in the heat

I just got home and sweating again from the heat…’Dad’ said it might be a prolonged summer til December, ‘See cuz these people never listen to Al Gore’…I smiled while I look at the sun peeping from the glass window…

Heat…I love the warmth that it showers on the road…everything looks more colorful and saturated…people walking down the streets clad in their skimpiest tanks and shorts…sweating with skin glistening from the burn…it must be nice to frolic on the beach now in my bikinis…but I chose not to go for the summer…I just ditched the paid accommodation and flight I have for this week…I figured, I will just get drunk again so might as well stay in the city and finish my canvass instead…I saw some photos of my friends in Bora, they looked like they had so much fun, am I missing out on the sun? But the sun is shining here as well. Bora will just be another escape…

I just got out of my clothes now and I could feel the heat swallowing me…oh the heat…it’s so sexy…speaking of sexy, I was having a few laughs with the staff today…my editor was telling everyone about her weekend in a famous ‘Bed and Breakfast’…the name of the rooms they stayed on are ’I love’, I ‘desire’, ‘I lust’…the ‘I lust’ room is the presidential suite…we were laughing…I asked her, what is the difference with lust and desire…I told her isn’t it the same thing?

LUST, oh how I love to use that term…everybody lusts for something or someone…but lust and love, I always have a hard time mixing the two…I sometimes try to mix them in my palette but I lose control…it’s so hard to moan to someone I love ‘to fuck my brains out.’ And I always feel whorish to fuck someone I do not even love…sex…it’s just sex…but I am not just sex…our editor cringed at the idea, she said, ‘ I can’t believe I’m talking to my staff about sex!’ We were laughing, her staff aren’t kids, we were adults in the modern world…sex shouldn’t be a taboo thing to talk about…her staff is composed of gay men, straight females and me, the femme lesbian…she would always be confused with me, cuz I date guys as well…but I told her, men lusts, but I do not lust for them, I like the idea of desire in their eyes, it’s overwhelming but a woman’s contour is always a thing to desire…meat, it’s the meat…but women aren’t just meat…

Women are higher than meat… it reminds me of what I said before about women, ’Women are so addicting…their like a drug that seeps into your vein so deep, it cuts the passage ways where you ease to breathe…maybe not for all, but it is for me… I like women, their soft curves, the way their skin leaves you wanting more, and their soft touch which makes your skin ache in agony...I don’t like rough, rough is animalistic, just like Gia said ‘I can do it with a dog so what’s the point…’ Women are different, you feel each other, hear each other, breathe each other like one... feel their pain as your body rubs against them...their longings...their music.... the sex is sex, but when you start to mix it with feelings and get too deep into it, its crazy, you would want your head to explode...’ the person on the other line said, the words are making her wet…see how women are, you need to dive into us to turn us on…caress all the senses, make them hear, make them feel, make them ache for it, and swim to their soul…women, abstruse beings, but not so hard to crack…once you crack them open, they bleed an endless gush of red…oh how beautiful we are…

One of my gay colleague was on the phone earlier, he caught my attention cuz he was making this moist disgusting sound, I looked at him with dropped jaw…he was having phone sex! Ugh! I screamed at him to stop cuz it’s making everyone uneasy…after he put the phone down, he was talking casually, he’s like, ‘What can I do, he was the one who called, he wanted to get off of it…’ I stared at him in amazement…gay men…two men in heat doesn’t disgust me, but the animal in them, ugh, I just can’t take it…sometimes I would wish to have their lust, to have plain sex, it's just sex, casual sex…it's over powering, but to wake in the morning with someone you don't love, 'could you please get off my bed...'