In my Closet Today
I found myself inside my closet today, crawled up in fetal position and head like an ostrich buried under the folds of my clothes… It felt good to reside together with my clothes for a while, I wanted to sleep there for a moment but I have to go back rummaging for something to wear…
I hear Fergie singing, ‘Labels or Love’. ‘Love’s like a runway but which one do I love more, no emotional baggage, just big bags filled with Dior, love’s like a runway, so what’s all the fussing for, let’s stop chasing them boys and shop some more… I ain’t looking for love, relationships are often so hard to tame, A Prada dress has never broken my heart before, and, ballin’s something that I’m fed up with, I’mma do the damn thing, watch me do the damn thing, cause I know that my credit card will help me put out the flames…’
Samantha spoke in my head, ‘I dont really believe in marriage, but Botox on the other hand work every time…” oh I love her… yes Botox, I want some of that, stretch my skin out from this mess I bury under my brow…
Ok, I guess I have to get dressed now, I am so late for work as usual, still need to book me a model for a shoot and I’m here staring at my computer again dancing my butt off from my gym ball… damn I want manicure and pedicure and new hair coloring… shit, maybe after tomorrow, I’m gonna end up racing for a radio show ala ‘Amazing Race’ and racing across Manila in a lent BMW. Scary, i’ve never driven a BM, I might just end up breaking a nail… oh I hope they give me a good navigator or a hot partner to cruise the city… fuck and I hope we win that load of cash, yes cash, that would me me happy… what’s that again Fergie? Yes ‘No emotional baggage, just big bags filled with Dior…’ shit as if I can afford a Dior…
…i have a silly thought in my head since last night… would it make me less of what i am if I date a guy again? a thought, a man’s arm around my waist, security and protection… kisses will do… ‘oh can we just skip the bed please, and shave that goat tee, it’s fuckin itchy.’ I was in a formal gala event last night, in a long gown, as i pose for the picture i wrapped my arms to my guy friend, ‘does it, does it look better with my arms around a man’s neck than with a womans?’