A little piece of Serenity

In a mercury drug I used to buy this inhaler called ‘Life in a can’, it makes everyone laugh when I inhale it, I tell them, ‘boy! it is cheap to buy life,’ then I would laugh with them… it’s a small can filled with oxygen, it soothes and refreshes the brain. Then I would tell them, ‘You know, I wish someone can invent, ‘Love in a can’,’ then everyone can afford it and be satisfied with it… it’s easy, they can put it in different flavors, any type you want, bitter love, sour love, sweet love, baby love, passionate love, possessive love, romantic love, or fuckin’ bleeding love if any would want… funny, maybe life would be easy… it makes for a good laugh…

I was thinking today, why not a can of happiness… ever body would want that… but like I told a friend the other night, ‘happiness? It is a different ball game’…

I was busy working today and I keep receiving calls and messages for good opportunities… just ‘luck’ in my little string of life… it was momentary satisfaction yet calmness is wrapping me up… I know this feeling… it was familiar to me… I felt this a few years back when I flew to Hong Kong with a real Angel… could it be? Could it be a little piece of serenity?

Last night I was so at peace when I laid my head on the bed, 2am I felt sleep creeping on me… that was early already for me to be in bed, I was happy finally to rest with nothing to worry me… oh heaven, it was heaven, then I woke at 4am, I think I was just in the first stage of sleep… I wasn’t sure if I even slept at all, so I got up again to finish my canvass… but the entire time, I was peaceful…

As I wrap up work with my colleagues, I said, ’you know I am happy today, I don’t even have the urge to process the usual stuff in my head’… I was ok, my thoughts were not in turmoil, and I feel so at ease… wow… my graphic artist would play love songs of broken hearts and unrequited love, and I was happily singing with each note… to sing love songs and be ok with it… I was bewildered with myself… it was funny… as I drove home and played some more silly tunes, I asked my cousin, ‘how do you feel? Do you feel like you miss anyone? Someone? Do you feel heavy between your chest?’ she said in a shallow voice, ‘yes, a little.’ And I told her, ‘I am amazed at myself, I do not miss anyone, long for anyone, crave for anyone, nor hate anyone!’ a big smile dawned on me while I puff the cigarette under the rain…

I am at peace… yes I found a familiar place in me… a little piece of serenity…