The one who got away...

I keep searching for the answers but I knew all along, I know, that’s the problem, I assume I know too much…thinking and speaking mostly just destroys everything…sigh, I look in the mirror today and I aged more than a year with thinking too much…I tried to quench my thirst but it still kept me parched…

Human nature, we destroy things that are perfect…but sometimes its better that way, to destroy something that hasn’t begun so that the memory will be kept intact…forever she says…yes keep it and treasure it forever, the pieces of me that I’ve shared is worth a lifetime…

Just keep on walking, that’s how everything should be…every time you look up the sky and see the moon, remember me whispering ‘I will fly you to the moon and back and not even the Jupiter’s storm can burn our wings…’ Remember that I showed you the vastness of the world, that even if you turn it upside down it is still beautiful…like us smaller than the tiniest grain of sand…but glistening, pawns that makes up what life is…it’s just is…

Last night, a part of my heart was given back to me, from the bunny hole that I lost a long time ago…it made my heart warmer, a piece closed up a wound…I thanked her for the past she shared with me, it is what I needed, to be acknowledged that I even existed…

The diwata told me I am like a book…something that you can’t put down and will always remember in your heart…ang hiwagang hindi mawawala…masarap pakinggan, masarap maramdamang ikaw ay buhay sa mga taong iyong dinaanan…maybe I have to accept that it’s my role in life…to be part of them, but not to keep…just another stone you might crash when you hold tightly…

A thousand and a million more holes…that’s what needs to be closed up…I feel my chest today…not numb…it’s beating, but every beat feels sore…do not poke it or hold it, it's not welcoming...i do not need consolation, from angels nor muse...i will smile with no one to hold me, it’s the queen in me…I am free.