Angel Eyes…
This is the first night that I saw myself back to reality again…not in my head anymore…I look at my wall from my home office and so many things are laid down before me…the things that I have to accomplish and do while I’m still young…I am done with escaping the world I need to focus on painting it again…
So much to do, so little time…I want to do so much that everything is cluttered before me…the studies I want to take, the paths I want to lead, the things I want to learn, and the things that I need to discover…I am so confused that I do not know where to start…
Responsibilities…I need to face them once more…the bills to pay, god I forgot all my deadlines…they bit me when I woke…my calendar is cluttered once more…I feel like a kid who needs a mom…to tell me what to do and where to begin…
It’s hard waking up from a long slumber. Like a vampire scared of the light, but I needed the burn…torched…that is what happened…
I am so alive the past days that my hands are aching for salvation…I feel like a blind man who sees again and the light rattles me…
Last Sunday I woke up with a big smile on my face…so freeing…I feel like life is one huge experiment and we create so many things from the predicaments it offers…I just need to focus on where to start…a thousand and a million holes…that much to fill…I looked at chapters in my life and I saw so many starting points, and I am always intrigued by the idea but for some reason I never finish…always just on the premise…oh guidance, maybe that is what I needed…
Muses…I asked myself the other day, is it what I needed? But muses suck me dry…some of the bad ones that started my year…I think I need a new one, another inspiring aura…I had so many of them last year…I need to pile up on them once more…
Useless addiction, I have to rid myself of those…me again…that is my addiction…order, that is what I want…focus that is what I want to muster…
An angel told me that she wants to heal me, but I am already healed. I just laugh at the wounds, I see it as something unreal…invisible scars, that is all I have…step 1,2,3…so many things to do…ugh, life needs to fix my schedule…maybe I should take what the angel offered, maybe…it could be good for me…may you guide my hand to the beautiful things it can create and swim right to my soul so I could dance once more to the music that plays in my head…
An epiphany…maybe not muses…angels…I had so many angels in my life in different chapters…they lead me to discover my path…oh, yes…angels…they are what I need…