Your face is a Curse
Why do they all have to look like you…this is the 3rd time that I liked somebody who resembled the things that reminds me of you…the smile that reminds me of my lovely mornings, the eyes that looks at me with hope and promises of happiness…it’s maddening…
It’s been one hell of a journey moving on and I have gone a long way already, only to find myself back on the same road I got lost in…I was probably holding the same old map that led me to you…probably just in different dimensions…but all the same fucked up warning signs pasted on their foreheads: “CAUTION: A DANGER TO YOUR KIND.” but as usual, warning signs, neon labels, bright, screaming, very tempting…and same as you they all come in the most beautiful of boxes, I, holding it like a kid excited to rummage on the contents, only to find out that monsters lay inside…monsters that creep when I’m not on my guard…they cut me into pieces…
I’m thinking…what good will this bring me…I can smell the tragedy even before stepping on it…all your kind has done me wrong…all your kind offers the same heartache and troubles in my head…its frightening…
Should I be running away from the same needle that injects me with so much numbing drug? But numbing is good for me…maybe too much of it can finally kill the urge to long for so much…maybe getting stung by the same poison can finally rid me of my sleepless meanderings…
What do you think? Shall I even be speaking like you would even hear? Why do I even speak when I know these words will remain like shadows in your passing eye…
Why does it have to be your face that blinds me when I hunt for my prey…your face is a curse…a hex you put on me these past years that I fell asleep while you move on with your life…I need a cure for this, and I know turning to you for help would never be the answer…
I wanna get rid of your image in my head and change it to something new…something wrapped in simple boxes, something that will give me new memories to linger on…something to cover all of your image…a new kind of smile that will remind me of new beginnings…a new pair of eyes that will wake me the next day…some new pair of windows that will promise me new happiness…new pictures to paint in my head…
…some one’s by the door again…knocking…i looked at the key hole to see what awaits me…another one of those bright eyes, lovely smile…she looks like you…but she’s not you…i did not find them…they found me…