Blood running dry
I feel like my blood is running dry…I need to get inspired…I want to get inspired…the fire of creativity just burned down on me, its been weeks and weeks now of endless work, binging, partying and sleeping on daytime. I am getting bored with this usual monotonous schedule…I get so tired most of the day, that’s why when I get home to my baby macintosh I just surf the net on useless information and a lot of ego surfing on fuckin facebook, multiply, friendster, downelink and all that crap that tells of so many lies lies and some more of lies…someone’s life is simply not how we see it on the internet…
I’m sitting here now with eyes half squinted from the smell of sleep, still aching for the desire to create something, anything, anything to wash away my languorous existence…I want to feel alive with paper under my skin, with colors reverberating around my eyes and music playing as I scar the pencil with more and more desire…yet I sit here and just think of it but the urge to pick up the pen and start doodling just doesn’t run through my veins for now…I need an inspiration…I need to feel alive…to dance and bathe in the hues and scribbles I create…I have a lot to finish yet I feel so tired just thinking of it…I feel tired just hearing people telling me I should do this, I should be this, I should make this…and I know should but I don’t want them yacking it in my brain, I get sick hearing them bark at my ears…
I want to swim in a pool of water…drown myself for a while and float on the surface and be reborn…clear my brain and reboot it one more time…does it need an upgrade? Does it need tune up? What I need is for something to push my hands, something to guide its movement and start creating again…am I in need of a muse? I ran out of them from the closet where I hide my heart…
All these longings…could it be lighting my fire…I will sleep for now…