Rain in my Sleep
It’s so easy to work my ass off and think of nothing else but work, it helps not to be thinking of anything else… I get used to it so much that even on my free time I’m in front of the computer doing some more…I just finished wrapping up another issue of the magazine, just got home at 5am and here I am now doodling again on my computer and I can’t wait til I start on something else cuz the fuckin’ silence of my apartment is killing me in this rainy weather…
I should be down and sleeping but my heart just feels so heavy with emptiness, it’s so weird, all of a sudden sadness started to creep on me, wow, something I haven’t felt for the longest time cuz I burry myself with too much work…must be the weather and the thought of being alone til Tuesday without my cousin in the house…and the fact that she showed me someone’s photo today that made my heart sunk in grief…feeling of loss…it’s nice to feel this way sometimes, I’m still human, thought I’m made of styro already, like those little tiny styro balls inside my bean bag that shrinks every time I sit on it…funny, anyway, I love this little bitty feeling of sadness now, I feel alive to actually feel…I’m torturing this emotional baggage and listening to some more sad music so I can nurse it a little bit and turn it into something to use for my art…well got to go back to something now, and close my eyes a little and rest my tired hands, and just so gravity can stop pulling my cheeks and eye bags down…candy colored dreams…hmmm…I’d prefer a little cold lighting in that dream this time, the soundtrack can be a little bittersweet, and typhoon ‘Egay’ you can swim with me in my sleep, just don’t flood too much cuz I still have to wake up later for a meeting…hahahaha