Broken Window

Working my ass off in the office again, it’s past 3 am already and I have shit loads of work to finish but instead I’m here scribbling things that is in my head now cuz these words are swimming in my brain and screaming to be released…

…People are weirded out by me now a days cuz I always like to reason and explain myself by not wanting certain things, and I don’t see anything wrong by saying what’s in my mind, maybe cuz some people just like to sway where the music go–letting things just flow without touching them so that everything can be ok. Thou I don’t see anything wrong about the idea of dancing where the music takes you, actually that’s how I live my life, and that’s how I always tell my friends but I don’t mean dance blind folded, metaphorically speaking it feels good to be blinded by the things that can hurt us, ignorance is bliss so they say…but life is a tricky dance floor, if you don’t see where you sway your hips you’ll never know where you’ll land. Sure we can do that when we’re young, cuz how else would we understand things by not knowing and trying it. We just dive in on anything when we’re young, but when we are of age to understand already we should know better. I use to reason that I can commit mistakes cuz I’m just human and I am created that way, but it hit me when someone told me, “sure you can say you’re human but a person should always know right from wrong and that is a responsibility that each of us has control of.” There are mistakes that can be fixed but there are mistakes in life that can change our lives forever.

Anyway the reason I’m blabbing about this is I’m bothered by the fact that someone told me that she thinks it’s stupid to always think of consequences, trying to reason to me that we should allow anything knocking on our doors. And yes I believe that we learn from the things that come our way but she missed the fact that I say things and reason on it, trying to come up with the right assertion because my instincts tells me that it isn’t right and I’ve been there before and I saw what it did to me already so why would I still let it in and swallow when I know that it is not right. And honestly there is nothing wrong with clearly knowing what you want, because when you hit that point of your life that you clearly know what you want to be or where you want to go or who you want to be with then that means you’ve grown from what life taught you. We are what we are today because of the things that mold us from the past, from the things we did, from the people we surrounded ourselves with, from the predicaments that life throws us in, from the mistakes we created, and from the pain and torture inflicted upon us by matters that we don’t hold control of. And that is how we learn from life, that is how we grow and that makes us realize things that should or shouldn’t be done. It is painful how people fail to recognize that fact, sure the hardest thing to do is understand other people especially when they let the things we say or do bounce off before their eyes so that it doesn’t touch them. But the thing is you can’t blame them, sure you can always disagree to what they do or say, but they are who they are… same as me …”Victim of someone else’s pain.” The never-ending connection that life weaves on its intricate webs.

I used to be one of those people who just dive in to things unfamiliar to my senses, and why not I’m young there’s nothing to lose, but when you already know, why would you still do it, unless you feel something so right even if everyone sees it as something wrong, that’s your instinct telling you try it, you will never know what it’ll teach you. Anyway, we have brains that teaches us things, senses that makes us feel, sights that lets us see, why cover everything up so that we can create a perfect world that will seem habitable for us to live in. I don’t think I’m stupid to think and reason on things that doesn’t feel right, why else would I be fussing about something if I know it’ll be a good thing, if I know that fire can burn why else would I put my hand on the flame…